Dec 19, 2007

egg nog benedict with holidays sauce

Mmmm. I would actually eat that conconction. I bet Martha Stewart has already thought of it though. In any case, this be December bitches. I have a nimiety of excuses to defend this micks. First -- technology -- foe! I did not ask for the micks to be burned in this order, I gots no flow. So, excuse me if it hurts your ears, it sure as hell hurts mine. 2econd -- it was a nontraditional christmas or a cheeeeeeese christmas and I just couldn't squeeze the dank flavour from the Gruyere. However, I did find myself wrecklessly prone to throwing in an earsore or two. You'll know when you hear them, and if you don't your tolerance is much greater than mine. 3rice-- this micks was produced for the most part to validate my own christmas nostalgia, which, lucky for me, worked. Unlucky for you... this micks brings with it christmas narratives so sugar coated they are best served from a rusting tin on grandma's living room side table. So herr goes, track list AND exegesis:

one) Auld Lang Syne – Drums and Tuba
two) the Christmas song – Leadbelly
three) Bonhomme’s Sweltering Snowsuit – ASSIGNMENT CANADA!This is a CBC radio archive circa 1970. It was absolutely necessary to convey who Bonhomme is and what he represents, which makes better sense of song five. That naughty Broken Social Scene.
Four) le bonhomme se s’couait en skidoo – la famille Soucy
Bienvenue to a French Canadian Christmas. I am not French, but grew up quite proximal to them. This is what we do. We sing and play on spoons and fiddle. We drink wassail until ruddy cheeked and build toboggans to hold 16 people. And get right sauced and ride on our skidoos. Ahh… even at age 9 I had my own skidoo, yellow bellied, round nosed, her name was Alouette.
Five) I slept with Bonhomme at the CBC – Broken Social Scene
Six) Christmas card from a hooker – Tom waits
7even) Nutcracker overture/Dance of the Sugarplum fairy – del rey
Even buttrockers get Christmas!
Eight) Merry Yatesmas – Paul Yates and His Men
It takes a lot for a man to publicly admit he wants presents, and to back it up with an address. In my ideal mixtape guild we would collectively render a barrage of holiday spirit on this man. But just for this round, let’s be realists
Nine) Christmas (Live) – The Who
ten) Merry Christmas, Not X-Mas – Arrah and the Ferns
11) Jakob has no “s” and Christmas has no “x” – Jakob Family Christmas
Bienvenue to a Jakob family Christmas. I think I copped this clip three years ago. My brother does the same thing every time the family gathers, he plays and we sit around and talk story. It’s such an integral part of my Christmas that I just had to share it. If I had to wrap one bit of audio up and put in under the tree, to you from me, this is it.
twelfth) soulful Christmas tree – james brown
Imagine yourself on a commercial spending quest through the mall three days before Christmas. This song is on repeat. And you’re in Old Navy.
30een) A Christmas Present 1973 – DeFord Bailey If anyone was so lucky to have the holiday upbringing I did… this is not just the mimicry of the wheels and whistle, this is the whole damn POLAR EXPRESS. Ah man, we’d line up, find our car, spend hours without parents but with elves and hot chocolate and carolled sing alongs, all to be suffixed with a visit from the jolly man himself. If you have never rode the Polar Express, my regrets, and may DeFord do what the immaterial memories of my mind cannot.
14) Joy to the World – Ben Harper (I think? The artist doesn’t matter, all that matters is that this is my favourite carol. Just let it melt your face off.)
Fifteen) When the first snow comes – Chad Serhal
6teen) Noel Huron – Alan Mills and Gilbert “Buck” Lancombe
I also had the privilege of growing up on a native reserve. This was a carol I knew by heart, and I knew it in Huron as well. It’s image is jet and silvery in my mind, but warm and rosy in my heart. Christmas isn’t just for white Europeans anymore.

Again, my apologies for the flow and some earsores, but Merry Christmas guilders. And if I never got a micks from you this round… you’ll understand the coal.



Grifter said...


So, I was sad that you left me off the routing for this, until I realized that my wife had submitted a change of address form and that the post was holding my deliveries. I just got this, and although it is no longer the yule tide, the fire of Bethlehem burns yearlong in me, and I will let you know what I think.

This guild has gotten spotty. Time to shake this bitch up, I think. Keep the faithful, cut the failing.

eirynjakob said...

off the routing?! you were the routing! many, many guilders must have thought me a flake. No baddah... lop as you see fit, but February's micks will be had forthwith (so maybe you can inform of the idlers so I'm not big batching something that could be quite intimate... just in time for the season of lovers)